In my embodiment sessions, one of the questions I ask clients is “What does your body need right now?” A very common theme that comes up during my sessions is touch. Not erotic touch, not genital touch, just plain, nurturing touch, the same way a mother touches her child. Touch is such a basic human need, yet in today’s society we do not give or receive as much as we want or should.
I work with male clients regularly, and they always ask to be touched in a nurturing way. Most of the time they would never admit it to anyone else, as somehow they perceive it to be a sign of being less-than-a-man. What does that mean? And who came up with this nonsense?
These clients want to have their bellies and chest touched. Sometimes they just want me to hold their hand, or they want to hold mine. Touch is a great form of therapy, as it releases oxytocin, the feel good hormone.
So why is that we suppress our emotions and do not ask for what we really want? Why is that years later people have to pay someone to touch them so they can feel nurtured? Why is that everyone craves touch, yet no one asks for it?
More often than not, if a person hasn’t been touched for a while, touch triggers emotional responses in the body, as the body speaks when we do not have words for what we are feeling. Unfortunately most people are not ready to be vulnerable in front of others…
To solve this problem in my own life, I have asked one of my friends if he would like to be my cuddle buddy. At first he didn’t understand the point of being just cuddle buddies, but he decided to give it a go anyway. When we meet, I lay my head on his lap while he strokes my hair and arms. We talk about our lives for a couple of hours, and that’s it. The following week we meet again and we do the same thing. Our cuddle buddy relationship works both ways. He feels closeness with another person, and I receive the touch and attention my body craves. Both parties are happy.
Imagine how much happier people would be if they were asking for, and actually receiving the touch they crave and desire?