Recently I have noticed there is a premature ejaculation (PE) phenomenon happening. Or maybe it has been going on for a long time, but only now I have this awareness, since this is the most common reason why clients come to see me for a session. Their ages vary from 18 to 60s and the storyline is usually the same. Either they ejaculate very quickly with a partner, and/or while masturbating.
Sex talk is still a taboo in our society, and so is masturbation. From a young age, boys learn that to masturbate is shameful, it needs to be done behind closed doors, and the quicker they get the ‘job done’, then the chances of getting caught are reduced. Boys masturbate on a regular basis, either a few times a day or many times in a week. This repeated pattern of masturbation behaviour rewires the brain and teaches the body to ejaculate quickly, with little effort, in a matter of seconds or only a few minutes. Over time, this becomes the norm. Premature ejaculation creates anxiety in a man who cannot control his ejaculation with a sexual partner. Before anything happens between the 2 lovers, the brain is already suffering from anxiety and the mind is disconnected from the body. The result is premature ejaculation, frustration and shame.
Some men have had this issue for decades. When they come to see me for a session, they realise how disconnected from their bodies they really are. I coach clients on breathing exercises and techniques that teach the body how to communicate with the mind, giving men the choice to ejaculate when they desire, instead of allowing the body to take over and ruin their experience with a partner or with themselves. I like to use the toaster analogy when describing the work to a client. “Imagine you put sliced bread in a toaster. The toaster is plugged in the wall, but it is not turned on. You expect to get toasted bread, but nothing happens, since there is no power connection between the wall (mind) and the toaster (body)”
In a usual PE session, we briefly discuss the sexual history of the client, so I can have an idea where they are at. Since I work with the body, and not so much with the mind, I don’t need to know all the details, only the important pieces. Then we stop talking and get into the body, with a grounding breath exercise, called body scan. Based on the outcome of the body scan, I have an idea of how connected or disconnected the client is from their body, and from that point on, I can decide which exercises the client will benefit the most from. They are a combination of breath, sound and movement. These exercises are very easy to do, and can be done anywhere.
Some clients may only need one session, while others may need several, as results depend on various factors, such as age, lifestyle choices and stress levels. Most men with premature ejaculation can reverse their situation. It may take a bit of time, practice and patience, but it is totally possible to learn to last longer and have a more fulfilling sex life, free of shame and anxiety.
I regularly receive emails and phone calls from clients to update me on their progress. As a practitioner, I feel enormous joy to coach my clients in claiming their sexual power back, even if it means I will only see them for a limited period of time.